How To Develop Your Confidence

Alan Matthews e-mailed some tips on boosting confidence to his e-mail newsletter recipients (of whom I am one) today. I thought they were useful. So much so I’ve printed them up and pinned them on my “motivator” board here in the office. All these pinned up items remind me why I’m working so hard and are nice to refer to whenever I feel a bit low.
Anyway, here are Alan’s tips on boosting confidence:-
How To Boost Your Confidence  

  1. Don’t dwell on mistakes, learn from them
  2. Don’t expect perfection
  3. Learn to say ” no ” to unreasonable demands
  4. Deal with situations early, don’t let things build up
  5. Stand up to talk to people
  6. Keep a journal of your successes
  7. Give constructive feedback
  8. Be persistent when things go wrong
  9. Delegate appropriately
  10. Offer solutions, not problems
  11. Have a clear goal for any situation – what do you want to get out of it?
  12. Remember other people are different from you, they have different motivations and styles
  13. Set yourself small goals to achieve every day
  14. Avoid negative people
  15. Don’t put things off – make decisions
  16. Be realistic in what you can achieve each day
  17. Think before you speak and stay calm
  18. Avoid negative self talk such as ” I can’t do this “
  19. Don’t catastrophise – expecting disaster from the start
  20. Visualise a positive outcome
  21. Remember body language is a major part of your impact on others – use it
  22. Model yourself on confident people – behave like them
  23. Don’t try to change other people – change how you respond to them
  24. Smile more
  25. Be enthusiastic and encourage other people
  26. Don’t judge yourself purely by your work
  27. Remember – everyone who ever succeeded failed first
  28. Break old patterns of behaviour – say and do something different
  29. Use the ” broken record ” technique in the face of aggression
  30. Don’t run yourself down to others
  31. If someone criticises you, ask them to be specific
  32. Be specific yourself in what you want from others
  33. Don’t apologise too much, especially for having an opinion
  34. If other people disagree with you, don’t assume you’re wrong
  35. Remember that appearing to be confident is often more important than being confident
  36. Prepare – have a Plan B if things do go wrong

Alan Matthews
Bringing out the best in people
0121 249 1306
email: [email protected]



  • Matt2006-05-04 16:19:20

    Just put your favorite shirt on, and smile...    

  • Woz2006-05-04 14:54:03

    you told me that when you feel low, you watch the leeroy jenkins video? you lied to me, and it cut me.....cut me deep.

  • Matt2006-05-04 13:52:28

    That IS a big list! I was feeling pretty good for the first few, but became somewhat depressed by the end... Now I need a hug ;-)

  • Mike2006-05-04 04:16:10

    Can't fault any of the individual bits of advice but I would say that there are two many. I lost interest towards the end of the list and if I printed that off and put it on my board I wouldn't read it.   Microsoft puts a lot of store in personal development and spends a lot of money sending people on courses that teach very similar philoophies as those articulated in the list. I'd done most of them and there have been things I have taken away frm all of them that I've found very useful. Having said that, I think the key is to find the things that work for you and ignore the rest. if I was looking at that list I'd ask myself what I thought were the most important four or five and I'd print them off and concentrate of doing those well. Once I felt that they had become second nature to me I'd look at another five and so on.   Microsoft also puts a lot of store in a process called Strengthfinders which identifies what an individual is naturally inclined to do well. The principle behind this is to concentrate you time on doing the things you do well (ie maximising) and spending as little time as possible on the things that you are not naturally predisposed to (unless they are a prime requisite for your role). Kind of makes sense.   Anyway - I've crapped on enough. It's god stuff but cherry pick what sense for you 9and you already know what they are).   Mike

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